Thursday By Numbers

01/13/2011

Number of smear tests had today – 1

Number of times thought occurred during smear test at how unfair that men do not have to have their undersmiles scraped with a shoehorn while being asked banal diversionary questions about work and home life – 46

Amount of money spent in Asda when only actually went in for bread milk and catfood – £92

Number of bottles of wine included in that total – 3

Number of times items labelled ‘confectionery’ or ‘bakery’ came up on the receipt – 14

Number of times items labelled ‘fresh fruit’ & ‘veg’ came up – 5

Number of tins of peaches purchased in case of imminent end of time apocalypse – 2

Number of days family likely to survive imminent end of time apocalypse on just 2 tins of peaches – 7 (at a push)

Number of days I have worked out that we are actually in work during the month of April due to weird Easter Holidays and various Bank Holidays – 6

Number of times today I have had distracting thoughts about camping – 12

Number of offspring taken home from school sick & left with Bman (also sick) – 1

Number of sick offspring showing miraculous recovery & bouncing around on furniture when I returned from work – 1

Number of times Bman has asked if I though he might have swine flu – 8

Time I intend to go to bed today – 9pm

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