Griswold Family Write Up


Name that Tune: “Let’s go all the way tonight, no regets, just love. We can dance until we die, you and I will be young forever – Teenage Dream, Katy Perry

Movie Quote of the Day: “You sit on a throne of lies / and you don’t smell like Santa. You smell like beef and cheese” – Elf

Okay right, Christmas review. Let’s go… Arrived in Chester a day early on the 22nd due to the heating issues in Sadford.

The moment he returned from dropping us off at the train station Bman fired up the gas fire in the lounge that has never been used since we moved here in 2001. I hadn’t let him switch it on while we were in the house for fear of carbon monoxide poisoning, gas explosion and certain death. I then spent the night at The Moss worrying that he was going to be either incinerated or gassed to death in his sleep and consequently ruin Christmas for the childerbeast by (a) being dead and possibly more importantly (b) not being able to bring over the gifts that were hidden in the understairs cupboard. Fortunately he survived the night and arrived safe and well on the evening of the 23rd not long after me, the childerbeast and J&J returned from Chester Zoo’s Santa’s Grotto. Or should I say ‘Grotty’…

My kids had been looking forward to the grotto after having gone a couple of years ago and enjoying the Frost Fair, with rides and stalls etc. We were booked in for 4pm at £7 a child and arrived to find a bare park on the verge of closing and a surly man in a Chester Zoo fleece laughing at me when we asked about the Frost Fair and told, rather gruffly I thought, that there was a santa in the gift shop if that’s what we meant.

and here (one of them) is on his Throne of Lies…

"Eeeeyaa mate Merry Christmas La"

Not quite the fantasy grotto we remembered from our last visit – sure there were some animatronic elves and cuddly reindeer but it took all of 2 minutes to get to one of his helper ‘elves’ (another dude in a zoo fleece) who gave us a Cadbury Hero chocolate out of a pillowcase and then led us to one of 4 doors. That’s right people… 4 different santas behind 4 different doors! Thinly disguised to look like a sort of toy factory but not clever enough to use soundproofing on the walls so you could hear the other santas through the MDF partitioning, and the last time I checked I don’t think Father Christmas was a Scouser. Poor and very disappointing Chester Zoo. Shame on you for not doing the Frost Fair and TBH I’m appalled at the 4 different Santa’s thing – what a sham! I will be writing a stern letter of complaint the minute I get back to work and am able to use their printer.

I should have just taken them to the grotto on Wrexham Road roundabout instead. They even had a big wheel and toy soldiers: –

Spot 5 differences

  Christmas Eve daytime we did exactly that and spent a small fortune on carousel rides and the like. I then had a last blast of panic buying round the shops while Bman took the childerbeast home and then after tea we hit the bright lights of Christleton village for the annual Christmas Eve Carol Service.

I don’t do religion, (unless you count Paganism with a hint of Jedi and a soupcon of Wicca) but I do like a rousing sing-song of a few Christmas Carols outside St James whilst holding lanterns on sticks and watching the live Nativity parade through the churchyard to stand around the manger. Sadly this year it was too icy for Lucius the Donkey to come out but at least the microphone and speakers worked this year so the Vicar didn’t keep cutting out like Norman Collier. It was bloody freezing and despite 3 pairs of socks I still couldn’t feel my toes but that’s all part of the tradition.

Church– once a year is fine so long as you stay outside.

  Somewhat disappointingly, but not to be helped, my Pops and my sister had the flu lurgy. A more virulent version of what I had when we broke up from school, which confined them to their quarters and killed the mood a bit in the Anson family Griswold for the festivities. (Didn’t stop my sister managing to drag herself to The Plough for another family tradition of going to the pub at lunchtime on Christmas Day though). We even went on the childerbeast’s new toboggans, which they enjoyed very much and saved me having to carry my handbag.  

Pub 'O Clock


My youngest rockin the Bet/Pat/Kat coat like her Ma


Thou must not covet thy sister's boots

 I didn’t feel as if I was drunk enough Christmas Day TBH, probably due to the fact that I was at someone else’s house and that my bad influence of a sister was not on her usual form. I am sure I will make up for it NYE round at my friend’s house. I was slightly tipsy Christmas Day evening and spent a very giggly half-hour playing what seemed to be a never-ending game of Harry Potter Cluedo with the childerbeast, JC and my brother. Favourite line from my bro being; “I accuse Barry White in the kitchen with Steven Gerrard”.

Giftage included The Art of Tim Burton book, which looks amazing; fancy undies; vouchers; Lost Season 6 (Hubba Hubba it’s Sawyer time) and the Twilight Saga DVD’s (hurrah (?) for perving at 17 year old boy wolves!) 

Holy Shit! Is that even legal?

All in all, a great time with the Family Anson, if slightly subdued due to the illness factor. Bman took all the gifts home on Boxing Day when he went back so it was almost like Christmas again when we got home on Tuesday.

The last couple of days have been spent with the childerbeast on the Harry Potter Wii games shrieking ‘Expelliarmus” at the TV screen every 5 seconds and me trying to find batteries for various other things and reading through reams of instructions for various board games and A’s Digital Spy Watch which I know I am going to regret when she posts video of me on Youtube taking a bath.

Went to town today to bounce around on sofas with a view to getting a new one. As yet undecided but definitely NOT the orange leather one that the kids liked. Stocked up on sensible food items (veg, fruit, washing powder etc) in Aldi, which was a bit like the Island of Doctor Moreau ‘cos it was full of misfits and midgets and generally odd looking people. I think the circus must have been in town.

2010 round up of the Year tomorrow. I bet you can hardly wait


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