The ‘How many different words can I use for pants?’ Edition


 Name that Tune:    “Get it up, hey! Get your pants off the ground” Pants on the Ground, General Larry Platt  

 Movie Quote of the Day:     “You can’t be too careful when it involves underwear.” – Home Alone 2  

 Bman told me that there was a pair of women’s undies in the snicket that runs up the side of our neighbour’s house and that they had been there for at least a fortnight.  We laughed about how unsavoury our neighbours must be until he saw me getting dressed the next morning and he said – “those grundies outside look a bit like those you’ve got on”.  “I have 3 pairs of these” I said, “or at least I did have….”  I suddenly had a heart in mouth moment that with the high winds of late some of my keks might have blown off the washing line and as we speak, be languishing in the rain alongside my neighbour’s house. 

 I had to go and check of course (although I put the rest of my kit on first) and poked at the soggy looking undercrackers with the toe of my boot until the label was revealed and the size indicated (I won’t say what) proved beyond measure that they did not belong to me… I shall say no more on that score and let sleeping dogs (and the skimps) lie. 

So other than poking around at the cast-off Alans* of the neighbourhood, what else has been going on this week in the world of the DHW? 

 In true DHW style yesterday I came in from work after a particularly testing week (don’t ask) and within a record breaking 5 minutes had fallen out with Bman.  I stomped outside (as you do) and saw my friend sat on her doorstep having a cheeky Marlborough so plonked myself at her mercy and we sat drinking coffee and making with the usual pleasantries; “They’re all twats” etc etc.  After giving him and the childerbeat enough time to realise that I actually wasn’t at home anymore, I returned to prepare tea.  Later on I went round to another friend’s house for a long overdue natter and catch-up over a few beers and a pizza. 

 Nice to hear today that Bman confessed that he could not get off to sleep properly until I had returned home.  Guilty conscience that perhaps I might not come back maybe? 

 All okay today though I am feeling tired just from having 3 beers and staying out until half past midnight.  What a lightweight!  I might just start drinking sherry at Christmas & funerals only and spend my afternoons listening to Daniel O’ Donnell CD’s while I watch QVC with a tartan rug on my knee and a lap tray with a piece of Battenberg and a mug of Horlicks across my knees. 


Old Lady Times

 Booked an Ibis Hotel in the end as the haunted hotel I wanted to stay in was too expensive.  I figure we can spend the difference on a curry for tea and admission into Carlilse Castle to try and sniff out their resident ghost instead.  Not quite as exciting as  TheBloggess  latest exploit.  Am most envious of her going to stay at The Stanley Hotel.  Bit off the beaten track for us though, as the last time I checked, Colorado wasn’t on the Settle to Carlise route.


2 Responses to “The ‘How many different words can I use for pants?’ Edition”

  1. “Undercrackers” is now my new favorite word.

  2. TheDHW Says:

    Happy to help – I have plenty of other great English words you can borrow. ‘Doylem’ is a particular favourite of mine, as is ‘foisty’ 🙂

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