NO MORE CHEESE AT BEDTIME PLEASE

08/18/2010

Name that Tune:  “You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare” – Beautiful Nightmare, Beyonce   

Movie Quote of the Day:    “This is just a dream. You’re not alive. This whole thing is just a dream” – A nightmare on Elm Street   

 We now have a new TV/DVD/Freeview combidoodad TV in the bedroom, so last night me & the Bman watched the newer version of ‘Dawn of the Dead’ (his choice, not mine). I had been online for an hour & a half previously drooling over tents – don’t judge me! because when the time comes and you need a place to lay your head when we’re all homeless in a nuclear/zombie/ giant cockroach apocalypse and you have a shit tent (or no tent) then you’ll all be tapping on the sides of my canvas, totally waterproof, nothing’s getting through this sucker  Living Space and asking if there’s room;  and I’ll be like “sorry dude, no room at the inn my friend… go and buy your own tent”. 

 

(Vango Tigris 800 – the tent of my dreams – the one I didn’t buy the other week at Go-Outdoors while it was on offer at £130 because I ummed and ahhed about putting it on my credit card and now it’s too late, it’s gone back up to £330 and I will kick myself forever over it) 

 Anyway. The short version of this blog entry is: – Don’t look at tents for too long online and then sit in the dark watching a zombie movie, because I had the worst dream ever about camping in the woods with my family and being attacked by zombies.  I woke up sweating and thinking there was someone downstairs – in all probability a zombified neighbour (hopefully one of the old fashioned B-movie variety that just kind of shuffles and lurches along and not the new improved practically bionic kind that can outrun you).  So I finally get back off to sleep and guess what?  I went straight back into the dream!  Only this time it was worse because I was alone – no kids, no Bman (they probably abandoned me for someone with a better tent, someone who DID buy the Vango Tigris 800 while it was on offer!).  

    So even in my dream I was like “Aww man, why is it when you have a great dream like a sex dream with someone who you usually wouldn’t have thought of but now that you’ve actually tasted the fruit, as it were, has opened your eyes to the possibility; you wake up from that dream and try to get back to sleep really quick so you can close the deal  but you never have the dream again – Booo!”  Then you forget about it until you bump into your dreamland co-star and you’re all flustered and can’t look them in the eye – hahaha!  So yeah I was even, in my dream, trying to fend off a pack (?) (what is the collective term for zombies anyway?) of zombies and thinking “Well, this sucks!” 

  

Shit!

 

 So now I’m tired and in need of an early night (well, before 10pm anyway) but Bman is watching ‘One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest’ and I’ve just ordered a load of new snazaroo facepaints online, so I’ll probably either have a nightmare about a bunch of crazies and a giant mute Indian Chief throwing a sink at me or a wierded out sex dream about me and Jack Nicholson painting each other with facepaints… 

  

Oops I think I overdid the snazaroo

 

 I need a Nytol and a chamomile tea and my bed (and possibly some kind of therapy). 

Ciao tutti! 

Xx 

  

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