Crackin’ Weekend Gromit


Name that Tune:   “Take my hand and lead me to the garden of delight, take my hand and lead me” – Garden of Delights, The Mission  

Movie Quote of the Day:   “Won’t you come in? We were just about to have some cheese” – Wallace & Gromit,- A Close Shave 

I’ll just whisper this bit because although I will savour the memory for many a year I wouldn’t want to seem like I’m gloating but…. on the way to the campsite in the Yorkshire Dales the Bman went the WRONG WAY and it wasn’t even my fault.  


He:  “It’s just a straight road out of Masham* now, I know where we’re going”  

Me: “Yeah but which direction?”  

He: “Don’t worry it’s all under control  

Me: “Cool, I’ll leave you to it”  

10 minutes later…  

Me: “I’m not so sure this is right. Should we pull over and check the map”  

He: “Nah! We’ll be reet”  

5 minutes later, he pulls up and takes the road map from me. Studies it silently then says “Hmmmmm” and without a word does a 3 point turn and begins to drive back the way we came.  

Me: (turning to the kids in the back) “Kids, that almost inaudible ‘Hmmmm’ was your father admitting he goofed it and has been heading the wrong direction for the last 15 miles”  

He: “Whatever!”  

Sweet silent victory!  


The camp ground was great. £8 a pitch and in a paddock behind a pub that served most excellent cider with a Host who couldn’t have been more helpful. It pissed down on the first night which was a bit rubbish but c’est la vie. We woke up 90 minutes before the onsite cockerel busting for a wee at 0550. Bad times! At 0830 we were sat in camping chairs round the stove with the kids bouncing about asking if it was time to go to the Forbidden Corner yet (we were not booked in until 1300hrs). We knew it would be a long long day… 

 Fortunately the brilliance of The Forbidden Corner was worth the extraordinarily early start to the day.  

I highly recommend everybody go there whether or not they have children and just enjoy it for what it is:-  A variety of nonsensical novelties in a perfectly maintained maze of gardens, in the middle of nowhere, for no good reason. A folly in the true sense of the word.  Not a rollercoaster or Disney/Pixar/any other film franchise/ endorsed character in sight and yet still it reduced my children to hysterical tears of fear and giddy laughter in equal measure multiple times throughout our 3½ hour visit – and I don’t think I’ve walked that far in a long time.    

I think I shall be hearing spooky whispered Latin verse and “The cat is coming, the cat is near, It’s coming. It’s coming, The cat, The cat, The CAT is here!.” in my nightmares for a long while yet.  

Big mouth meets an even bigger one


claustrophobic times

Temple entrance to the Underworld


On the way back to camp we stopped off at Middleham Castle just because it was there and we saw it, and because it’s some kind of old English charter that on any given driving holiday with your mum and dad when you are kids, you will get randomly plucked from the car just as you begin to doze off in order to look at something ancient and ruined then have to listen to tales of days of yore and have your photo taken sat on some old rocks. Fact!  

Middleham Castle - in Middleham (hence the name)



Better night at camp on Sunday. It stayed dry, if a tad nippy but me and the Bman sat around the firebowl quite amicably. drinking cider and watching other people’s Chinese lanterns floating off into the sky while the childerbeast sleep the sleep of the totally exhausted and nobody woke up until almost 0900 today which is practically lunchtime in camping time! Once we had eaten and packed up the car we went to the The Little Chocolate Shop – Harmby and watched chocolate being made before we were robbed at point blank range on the way out for a chocolate lolly & 2 small bags of chocolates.  

Onward to Hawes and a quick gander from the car in the rain at Gayle Mill before we hit the Wensleydale Creamery for some cheesetastic times.  Sadly they were not making cheese today but at least that meant we got a reduced rate to look around the factory.  

Old English Charter #2 is that you will be dragged around places that ‘make stuff’ while on holiday with your parents.  Sometimes this is cool (see The Little Chocolate Shop) sometimes not so cool (Listening to the history of Wensleydale Cheese on an information video and being made to look at 200 year old cheese presses).  

Sometimes though, you may make a discovery about yourself in that having lined up at the cheese tasting counter (whining all the while about being bored) to make with the sampling of over a dozen different types of cheese, that you actually find out that you like cheese that isn’t sliced and processed and wrapped in cellophane or is triangular & has a picture of a laughing cow on the label. 

 ‘I do so like green eggs and ham! Thank you thank you Sam I am!’ 

 You’re welcome….  


Home by 1530 through the winding narrow lanes of Grassington and back of beyond in the bouncing rain with childerbeast slumped asleep in the back. Am now on second load of washing in attempt to get on top of housework before we head off to London on Wednesday. A rolling stone gathers no moss and a constantly moving family generates very little mess over the summer holidays (well, not in their own home anyway).  

Time to cut me a bit of a wedge of Jervaulx Blue and a nice cup of tea before I hit the hay myself.  

Good times!  

* the Bah Humbug  sweet shop in Masham has a giant Marilyn Monroe head in the window made entirely from jellybeans – V. cool. I have a picture of it as my wallpaper on my mobile. Jelly Belly Art 


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