You Better Shape Up

06/30/2010

Name that Tune:   “Im tired of magazines sayin’ flat butts are the thing” – Baby got Back, Sir Mix a Lot

Movie Quote of the Day: “I can lose weight… but you’ll always be an arsehole!” – Run Fat Boy Run

So what’s been happening in the Land of Me so far this week then? Monday late afternoon I was pottering about in my kitchen, like you do, trying to decide whether it was too early for a Margarita etc etc.  The peace is shattered, as peace tends to be, by rambunctious childerbeast in the neighbourhood bubbling and crying and skriking. Suddenly my friend’s child appears at my back door yelling for help that her brother has fallen over and I’m needed straight away. “Can’t your Mummy deal with it love”. Says I. “She’s fallen down aswell!”   bubbles the child!

Crumbs!

I dashed round there to see my friend sparko on the kitchen floor while dad calmly attends smaller child with gaping chin injury. Mum, seemingly having gone to attend to the wound and then keeling over like a felled tree at the sight of a gusher!   Dad asks if I can resuscitate mum while he sorts the little one out.

Dramatic times.

Mum came to. Her and Dad took kiddo to hospital to have his chin glued back together while I minded the older one at my house.

 

I fired up the old Wii Fitness game again after almost a year off it and felt the next day as if I had been run over by a bin lorry! I ached in places I had forgotten all about. All in the name of trying to limber up a bit for September and in a panicked attempt to shift some timber before camping and festival season is upon us.  Can you be hypnotized into not wanting to eat sweet things?  I’d be afraid to have someone messing with my head though. Feck knows what goes on in there that I’m unaware of. The things that float about in inner sanctum of my minds that I am aware of are complicated enough without unearthing anything else.

(Just noticed that I typed **minds** instead of *mind* Should I be worried about that do you think? Some semi-conscious schizoid tell of looming insanity?)

Anyway it’s time to try and break through that pain barrier again and go for Round 2 on the Wii Fitness. If I don’t check in for a while you’ll know that it was the reverse lunge, bent over rows & squat jumps that finally did me in. I can see the Headline in the Telegraph & Argus now:-

“Tragic death of local woman found in own home with faced smashed through the TV & Wii Nunchuck wire wrapped around her ankles.”

Bingo Wings Akimbo

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