Cats & Candy Come Downs


Name that Tune: “In the middle of the night it feels alright but then tomorrow morning… oooohhoooh, then you come down”. Sorted for E’s & Whizz, Pulp

Movie Quote of the Day: “I’m feeling much better now! – Sixth Sense

I witnessed this evening Mother Nature at her most cruel yet beautiful. This was manifested in the spectacle of my 11 year old cat, the legend that is… Gollum Smeagol, in the act of teaching her young housemate, the year old kitten, Pepper, how to hunt.

Usually these two felines are at opposing ends of the friendship spectrum, tolerating one another with disdain and, on occasion, downright hatred. Something happened tonight though to cause the elder statesman to show the gauche youngster the ways of the force.

The unfortunate accessory to this training session was a small terrified but brave fieldmouse, which may or may not have been a member of mouse MI5, a Spook of a mouse, a rookie on it’s first field outing. It didn’t give up easily. I wouldn’t go as far as saying it didn’t go down without a fight, it just took a hell of a long time to die.

It was systematically passed from one feline torturer to another – Good Cat/Bad Cat style. Gollum as the Gene Genie and Pepper as the more gentle Chris Skelton.   Gollum even did that Tom & Jerry style move of pinning the tip of it’s tail down with a paw while it tried to carry on running. Then the roles were suddenly reversed. Pepper became the wild-eyed & brutal aggressor, tossing it in the air and batting it from one paw to another while Gollum sat back nodding approval and licking a paw and signalling encouragement from time to time by the wink of an eye or twitch of a whisker.

Then… when she (and I, and not to mention the still breathing mouse) had decided enough was enough, Gollum took charge again & strolled over to finish the job by biting it in half before eating the head and casually flicked the arse-end to her young Sith apprentice.

 Pepper sat for a while poking at what was left (back legs and tail) & looking at Gollum as if to ask “Why isn’t it running anymore? This is no fun”.  Then she got bored and wandered off leaving this half-rodent under my patio table.

I know all this went on because I watched with something akin to awe, pride & revulsion (& of course, took photographs which I would show you if my mobile would relinquish them but it’s decided it doesn’t want to play ball with my PC tonight).

I try not to interfere with the natural order of things if I can help it. Things are what they are!

On the topic of things UNatural however– yesterday R was unbearable for about 20 minutes after school yesterday and ended up being sent to bed by the Bman who got very cross with her, which is not like him – but she really was hideous. I mentioned it today at work and it seems that a few children in her class had the same ghastly half hour yesterday evening. The common denominator in these episodes was that all of them had eaten a sherbert strip from a classmate’s partybag at about 3pm.

E-number come-down. Bad times!

 If you want the buzz you have to learn to cope with the after effects my friend: – Mouth like a foam dartboard, talking 10 to the dozen, loss of appetite, weight-loss, depression, spinal shrinkage…. Oh hang on, that’s MDMA & Amphetemines… still, it’s the start of a slippery slope. Today it’s sherbert fountains and before you know it you’re flogging your Granny’s wireless for a fiver deal…

If my phone to PC connection works tomorrow I will upload those Cat/Mouse/Death photos.

I bet you can’t wait….




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