Sayonara Social Timewasting


Name that Tune: “Put your hand in the air and make an L” – I Need Love, LL Cool J

Movie Quote of the Day:
“Man understands nothing, he can be taught a few simple tricks, that is all” – Planet of the Apes

After months of threatening and promising to do so, I have finally abandoned the good ship Facebook in an attempt to reclaim some of the hours in my day. So I’ve called time on Farmville, sold off what livestock and fruit trees I had & left my land unploughed. I’ve broken the news to R that the Petville Petshop will now be closed for business and hope the children don’t shed any tears for the virtual fish in my Happy Aquarium that will no longer be fed or played with. I have contacted the handful of people I would still like to remain in touch with or at least not lose touch with altogether and have got their email addresses and/or mobile numbers. Pretty much the rest of them I see every day or fairly regularly anyway so why I am wasting my time typing LOL or clicking ‘Like’ after every last flaming comment or update they make I really don’t know. Well. I do know. It’s because I am a L O S E R. [Note to self: Must get a life or at the very least, stop making a pig’s ear of the one I’ve got].

It had got to a point of going on it for going on its sake. I’m not really killing fish or letting animals starve to death or plants wither and die in my fields because, hey guess what? – They’re not really there. As far as the social networking side of it went, the people I mostly messaged or wallposted, I see every day anyway. I had become just another one of the no-life stickybeaks that sit on their PC’s night after night looking at status updates to see that someone they haven’t seen for 20 years: “is looking forward to a beer after work” or “had a killer of commute to work” or “has the mother of all hangovers” or “is thrilled that their child got a certificate at school”.

Christ, there’s enough domestic minutia and ennui going on in my own house without sharing 150 odd other people’s aswell.

The whole cyber security element of it has pissed me off of late too. Watching your Ps & Qs on comments or which ‘friend’ can see which of your pages, posts or photos, for fear of it being frowned upon by work or someone who has seen their arse at something you’ve said. (Bit like this bloody thing really, somebody somewhere is going to get the hump if you say it like it is). Whatever happened to Freedom of Speech? Anyway, I can no longer be bothered and I bet two thirds or more of the friends on my ‘list’ won’t notice for ages, if at all, that I’m not on it anymore.

On the topic of truth hurts I am in a mighty doldrum with myself at the moment (and I’m not even sure if that’s a phrase that makes sense but I don’t care anyway because this is my diary and I’ll say what I like and nobody reads the fecking thing anyway. **SIGH** + **DEEP BREATH**) Have realized (well okay not realized, I always knew, so it’s more of an admission than a realization) that the reason I get so wound up and angry with Bman when he criticizes my poor washing up skills, slipshod ironing technique, fickle parenting skills and in no uncertain terms, shit cooking ability on an almost daily basis is….because it’s all true! I can’t cook for toffee. I make Ria from Butterflies look like Nigella Lawson. I am slapdash with the ironing but at lest I do iron; plenty of people I know don’t even bother. He’s no bloody SuperNanny himself when it comes to dealing with the childerbeast and just because he’s shithot at washing up doesn’t mean he’s any good at hygiene elsewhere cos I’ve never seen him have a go at vimming the loo!

Anyway, my point (cos I do have one… I think) is that I get enraged with him because I know all this already, and to be honest I don’t care that much. I CAN wash up, only he makes a more thorough job of it. I iron what’s necessary and if he wants razor sharp creases down his chuffing work strides then he knows where the frigging ironing board is. Of course he is better at cooking than me, he was a chef for 15 years, so I never put that much effort into learning to do it properly when we moved in together – After all, why get a dog and bark yourself? And as for the childerbeast, we’re all on a learning curve with each other there and we’ll do what all parents do… wing it and hope for the best.

Anyway now that I have f*cked off the FB just think of all the hours left I shall have in my evenings to perfect my creases, brillo the living daylights out of my crockery and hone my culinary skills…

Hmmmm sure… okay…



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