Festive Joy


Name that Tune: “Do you think about me now and then?” – Homecoming, Kanye West

Movie Quote of the Day: “Merry Christmas. Shitter was full.” – National Lampoon Christmas Vacation

It is the day before Christmas Eve now. I have had a birthday which came and went as they tend to do these days. I was given a new digital camera which excited my greatly not only because it is red but because it has a rechargeable battery which will save me a fortune in Double A’s. I will endeavour to ensure that no-one sits on this one and crushes it to smithereens! It was also my sister’s birthday and she was taken First Class to London and on The Eye & for a fancy meal and was proposed to on one knee in the snow by her boyfriend. It won’t last… (the romance I mean, not the marriage), which I am sure will be a long and happy one for both of them are beautiful people on the inside as well as out. Not sour old prunes like me and the Bman 😉

We had a lovely weekend in Chester with M&D and saw The Boywonder too. Almost didn’t go due to the little cat going AWOL after I put her out at 0530 for climbing on my head and trying to eat the tree deccies ( I had fallen asleep on the couch) and then trying to curl one out behind the TV cabinet. By 10am she had not returned on what was the coldest night of the year for about a decade leaving me with the guilts, R making homemade Missing Kitten posters and me and her trudging the streets sellotaping them to lampposts as we called out to her and searched peoples sheds and bushes for her fluffy little black & white frozen corpse. We waited until after lunch without any sign of her and took the executive decision to leave for Chester anyway, hoping that she was safe and warm on some elderly neighbour’s bed somewhere and assuming that if this were the case that by our return on Monday, whoever had her would have grown tired of her gargantuan appetite and propensity to shit everywhere and thrown her back out onto the street.

As it goes, I had a text on Sunday morning at 6am from my friend and neighbour letting me know that Pepper had turned up that morning and they had her in their house now warming her up. Christ knows where she had been for 24 hours but since then she seems to have calmed down a hell of a lot so perhaps she has been lobotomized by aliens or something – I guess we’ll never know.

My M-i-L with her gammy hip/leg/knee á arrivé so the commode is now in situ at the foot of the stairs, decorated with a skinny string of tinsel and her assorted cripple paraphernalia is cluttering up my nicely tidied Christmas kitchen. Bless and Joy!

The childerbeast are beyond excited & the fridge can just about close. I’ve spent today making a chocolate log (after 2xtra visits to the shop for ingredients I had forgotten when we did a Big Shop on Monday). What a way to spend your birthday eh? -trailing round Morridogs with the masses, fighting over the last tube of Sour Cream & Chive Pringles and loading up with fiddly party foods that will doubtless still be in my chest freezer in March. Have also made enough Mushroom Stilton & Chestnut Pâté to plaster a large wall and I started drinking Tia Maria & Cokes at 4pm.
It must be Christmas!
Wake me up when it’s all over…
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.
Excuse me. I have a commode to empty.

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