Normal Inactivity


Name that Tune: “It may look to the untrained eye that I’m sitting on my arse all day” – I Spy, Pulp

Movie Quote of the Day:
“As for reality… let me enlighten you” – The Duchess

December 5th and the season of stress, overspending, over-indulgence and irrational irritation with the world is upon us once more. The childerbeast are amok for want of a better word and for 4 nights straight A has been within a hair’s breadth of being sent to a Children’s Home with a ‘Please Look After This Bear’ label attached to her coat!

The kitten! Don’t get me started on the retardo-cat!
Thursday night whilst trying to have a relaxing bath to calm me down after half an hour solid of yelling at the computer, which was refusing to let me online again after I had been unceremoniously ejected from the Information Superhighway halfway through harvesting my cyber crops on Farmville. Several attempts at logging in later and being given the same cryptic message : “Please contact TalkTalk” (cryptic in that we are not even WITH TalkTalk!) the facetious machine finally decided to stop being a twat and let me back online. By this time I had given up the will to live and decided to run a relaxing hot bubbly bath instead. Sat in said bath, reading my book and enjoying a cup of tea that darn cat leaped onto the side of the bath, missed and plunged in, spraying bubbles everywhere & doing a Scooby Doo style scramble (on my legs, scratching them to ribbons) whilst trying to escape. She managed to claw onto the shower curtain and shot up it like a ferret up a drainpipe, only to bring the whole lot crashing down onto my head. I think the entire street probably heard me yelling; “Can I not even have a f*@king bath in f*c%ng peace?!!!”

Tuesday night’s ‘Paranormal Activity’ was a bit of an anti-climax. I was fully prepared to have no sleep at all and lie in bed clinging, gibbering onto the Bman and vowing never to watch another scary film ever again. Instead, I cursed myself for getting sucked in to yet another Internet viral marketing hype that shows you all the best bloody bits on the trailer so, in essence, you have seen it before you hand over your hard earned cash to the ticket dude at your local Odeon. Yes, it did make me jump a little and Yes it was a bit creepy and Yes, Okay so I did sleep with all limbs tucked well and truly under the duvet so as to leave no exposed body parts for the demonic grabbing thereof, but… it wasn’t nearly as terrifying as I had hoped.

Favourite answer in class of the week – in a Guided Reading session when checking the group knew the various things which made up a Non Fiction book and looking for the answer ‘Glossary”

“What’s the other thing aswell as Index and Contents? It’s very important and begins with G”

“Oooh, is it Gin Miss!”

Yes. Yes it is… and on that note, I hear Gordon calling me.



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