The Way You Make Me Feel


Name that Tune: “Little black butterflies deep inside me” – Mama Do, Pixie Lot

Movie Quote of the Day: “She paints her face to hide her face” – Memoirs of a Geisha

As I chuntered to myself in the kitchen after repeating myself at volume for the umpteenth time to the childerbeast about something or other, I caught sight of my reflection in a saucepan lid today as I was drying the pots and I thought;

“Who the fuck is that old harridan and who let her into my house?”.

My face was set in a sort of determined scowl; my barnet, still presently ”a horrible shade of red” (quoting Bman there) was unkempt and sticking out in all directions. I looked like Medusa’s less attractive cousin, on an acid comedown after a night on a compost heap… and I thought; “Where the hell did Kit go?”.

This aesthetic reality-check only served to exacerbate the already overpowering sense of pointlessness about myself that I had awoken with and I went upstairs and sat, on the bed, for a long time,. just staring at nothing and pondering. Pondering a life where I could’ve gone out much more, done a lot more, snogged a lot more people, broken a few more rules or laws and had a little more to show for my life. I’ve never even had sex in a car for Christ’s sake!
Not that there’s anything to stop Bman and I jumping in the old Focus and going for a drive somewhere secluded, but that would just seem like doing it for the sake of it, which rather detracts from the urgency & spontaneity of the concept, and anyway, sex in cars is for teenagers or those without homes of their own, or for secret trysts with inappropriate partners, not married couples who pride themselves on being able to take pointless bickering to an Olympic level.

We have a bit of a Halloween ‘Do’ planned for Saturday & the childerbeast have already decorated the house with luminous creepy crawlies and Skulls of all sizes so that will be fun.
Tomorrow I go to The Moss for a family gathering for Mum’s birthday (no-one mention a six or a zero!) so that should also help alleviate my torpor.

For tonight though, in the absence of any Mogadon, Valium, Prozac or other prescriptive reality distorting pharmaceutical I shall have to make do with a G&T, the new series of ‘Waterloo Road’ and a 10 minute blast on the LTT. I’ve put some curlers in and have every intention of painting my nails so I haven’t completely lost the will to attempt to Shirley myself up a bit.

Happy Halloween & Brightest Blessings to you all.


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