Expecting too much (as per)

07/21/2009

Movie Quote of the Day: “Maybe something terrible will happen – maybe you’ll have a good time.” – The Way We Were

Name that Tune: “She doesn’t have to go to work but she doesn’t want to stay in bed, cos it’s changed from something comfortable to something else instead” – Live Bed Show, Pulp

Ever get that sensation when people say that someone walked over your grave? Shivers down you arms & chilly spine. Why am I getting this feeling more and more all the time? Why is it always during or after some form of communication with my husband? This man who, as a teenage boy, used to eat cheese on toast with Branston pickle late at night with me at the big white house on Cross Lane while we watched Friday Night Live & babysat my (now 30 yr old sister & 27 yr old brother) whilst my parents went wild down the Chrome Nun on Newlands.

The letters we would write to one another and hanker for when we lived miles apart in London & Chester and had finally got together.

Little poems. Sentimental cards. Postcards of London & Chester with simply “Thinking of You” or “Miss you Loads” scribbled on the back. All now filed away in a heap in a battered shoebox somewhere in the back of the wardrobe.

Why is it now just shopping lists on post-it notes? Or plaintive instructions to record something on the Box?

“Bread. Milk. Ham. Noodles. Wash Powd.”

“Don’t forget Bear G – C4 7pm, use the Footy tape”

Comparing diaries to facilitate childcare duties.

“Are you on earlies or lates w/c 24th?”

Where did all the loving glances & love notes hidden in specs cases go?

Attempts at conversation seem to only consist of going over each other’s working day, each knowing that the other is only half listening and that vital and important bits of conversation will have to repeated many times over before it sinks in.

“We are going here, at this time, with such and such”
or
“Such & such is coming on the 5th of then”
We nod & smile & not pay attention and think of other things;
“What shall I have for tea”;
“Is she ever going to shut up”;
“ God, I/he/She needs to lose weight!”
Then the inevitable when the 5th of whenever arrives;

“What! Who’s coming?? (or) We’re meant to be going where??? – well I knew nothing about it, you never tell me anything!”

I do tell everything though (well most things) I tell it all to my PC to Microsoft Word then copy & paste it into Blogspot (save a copy to hard drive & back up disk). Sometimes other people read it. Sometimes some of them comment on it. I mostly forget what I wrote once I’ve typed it, edited it as best I can, saved it to draft & posted it. Sometimes I’ll add a comical Googled image or a carefully chosen photograph. Mostly I am doing this when I should be doing something more constructive instead. Vacuuming. Dusting. Playing Mario Cart with my children or making something with them – burnt cookies, muffins that don’t rise etc.

What am I actually saying today?

Nothing.

As per.

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One Response to “Expecting too much (as per)”

  1. Michael Says:

    Post-It notes? you're lucky. We're down to mobile calls, usually answered by someone saying "Who is it … who's 'me'?"


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