Olympian Times


Movie Quote of the Day: “Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing” – Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Name that Tune: “Don’t mind doing it for the kids (so come on)” Kids, Robbie Williams & Kylie

The Wavy carnival was cool as per. It rained though for a time so Eddie must’ve offended the sun gods at some point this year as it never usually rains on Carnival Day. We arrived 45 minutes after it started thus missing the Parade & crowning of the Rose Queen thanks to a lack of communication between my folks & Eddie. Never mind, the kids were easily mollified about missing the parade with a trip to the Cheshire Farm ice cream van.
The Motorcross stunt bike performance was a ratings winner with the childerbeast (& indeed my brother I) who watched with mounting excitement & that secret sadistic hopefulness you get when you watch this type of thing where you almost wish that one them might come a cropper for that elusive You’ve Been Framed £250 moment and the questionable kudos of being able to say “I was there when that happened – I had to run for my life!”.

Sadly, (I mean Fortunately) no calamities occurred on the motorbike ramps but we did get our grisly moment of doom as we watched the childerbeast on the last ride of the day on the mini ferris wheel the old dude operating the machine had some kind of medical episode. Cue much staggering, clutching of arm & chest, horrendous moans & groans, & him turning from grey to white to yellow as me and some other fair ride dude summoned the emergency services & on-site first-aiders whilst my bro danced about trying the distract my children, who were still going round & round on the wheel, from the 999 Emergency situation unfolding infront of them. Eventually someone stopped the ride & we got the childerbeast off and away from the drama as word got round that he was either having a heart attack, a stroke or some kind of epileptic episode; “What’s the matter with that man?” they asked as my mum bustled them away. “He’s feeling poorly so has had to have a lie down”.

Apparently he is ok now though, which is a great relief as he looked bloody terrible at the time!

This week at school it has been Healthy Week combined with Mini Olympics organised by Year 6. I knew on Monday at the Opening Ceremony that it was going to be a loooooong week. Tonight I am ready for a Pear cider or two.

Events have included whole school Wake & Shake in the hall where I trampled on many a toe to the tune of YMCA & Don’t Stop Me Now. We have moved around school in our various teams (I was with Team USA). We have done everything from tasting healthy foods & creating fruit smoothies, to water safety, safety in the home & self esteem circle times and even a session with Year 6 & a British Military Fitness squad on Thursday where I came over all unnecessary & flushed when the rather handsome young instructor demonstrated an arm hold on me, but I at least managed to complete the session of insanely fast paced starjumps, sit ups & whatnot without losing bladder control (Hurrah).

I have also been to Leeds Uni with Year 6 for their mini graduation ceremony with the Kids@Uni Project. 18 other primary schools in Leeds took part and of them all, our class were one of the better behaved of the lot compared to some of the other noisy ones.

I’ve had a bruised wrist from slamming into a door handle whilst trying to block the door from an escaping child who knocked me into the door as they tried to make a bolt for it.
I’ve played my own small part in removing potential hazards/weapons out of the way of another child who chose to run amok just before the Mini Olympics Opening Ceremony, which is the last thing we needed infront of waiting parents & grandparents.

I have also babysat another child who had been removed from class for violent behaviour & not allowed to join in with watching the rest of school do their sports. Colouring away nice as you like; “Miss can I have some scissors to cut out my picture” In a word, “NO!” What have I got? Some kind of death wish?! No sharp things anywhere near you mate…

The sporting events themselves were fun, if a bit like organised bedlam, especially the KS1 events on Tuesday which had to be done in the hall because of wet weather.
Argh! The noise of 100 kids plus staff & parents cheering on their mates/children/teams. Staff trying to not laugh out loud when the smaller kids got pulled over in the tug of war & dragged across the floor because they refused to relinquish the rope. Cue me making with the tending to rope burn injuries, wounded pride & decibel related crying.

Today was the closing ceremony of the Olympics when it was the turn of the staff to take to the field for some sports events for the entertainment of the children & parents. I won the hula contest but only because SL was too late to join in otherwise she would have burned us all off the field. My handstand was okay but feeble compared to SB’s. I was just happy though that I didn’t (a) lose my trackydaks (b) expose my bra to everyone (c) go all the way over & sprawl out like a fool and of course (d) wee myself. I somehow also got roped into a relay race which our team won and again the old pelvic floor held true & didn’t let me down.

I’m not sure if my favourite part was the headteacher winning the 3-legged race by practically dragging his partner down the field, the staff space hopper race which I was sorry I hadn’t signed up for as it looked so much fun or in the final event, the Tug o War, KS1 vs KS2 when after barely a minute the rope just snapped in two & we all hit the deck. I managed to remain standing but most of the other staff ended up in a heap on the grass laughing like drains. Man I love this job – there’s never a dull moment and no two days are the same.

Great news is that I have been advised by the Head that I am needed back at school full time again in September. Whoop Whoo!

Good Times.

Am taking the childerbeast to see HSM3, drive in movie stylee in the carpark at Eureka tomorrow night. We are taking a picnic so fingers crossed for dry weather.

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