Name that Tune: “Secrets we had, now it’s all in the past, from something to nothing” – Like I Never Loved You At All, Take That

Movie Quote of the Day:
The night of all my dreams came true, and like all happy endings, it was a tragedy” – Great Expectations

Goodness I just realised how long it’s been since I last blogged and such a lot has happened in the minutiae of my Betty hausfrau fat-faced non-entity of a life since the 17th June. Wimbledon is on, The Stig was unveiled, Glasto just started and apparently some pop singer or other has died! (How quickly did the poor taste jokes about him start to circulate this morning???).

R’s birthday has been and gone. She didn’t do a “Peppa Pig” as threatened & get up at 5am in fact she managed a respectable 7:30/8am. The party went well, the sun was out, not too warm but no rain (woohoo!) The bouncy castle fit in the garden without any problem and the chocolate fountain was a roaring success, so much so that we were finding dried up chocolate all over the house for days afterwards! R threw a bit of a party wobbly over not being the person to start off the pass the parcel so took herself off to bed in a fit of pique but soon came down when the penny dropped that being a party Diva meant she didn’t get a chance at winning! As recompense I made sure she was the one who finally cracked the homemade piñata although she had thrown a bit of a jibba about that too when some over-zealous piñata bashing from her school pals resulted in a broken light saber. She wasn’t fussed about the light saber but thought that this would mean the sweeties contained within the piñata would not be relinquished. Once assured that we could continue bashing at it she was mollified enough to resume the task in hand until the yard was awash with lollies, chewits, water pistols & fun size Mars, which quickly began to melt in the sunshine. As I tried to cut up the HSM cake into slices for them to take home I left Bman in charge of organizing a game outside but soon realized he was not in control of the situation. I stuck my head out the back door, got their undivided attention with a long hard blast on my PE teacher whistle (worn for the occasion with a red tracky to give the impression of some kind of PE coach type HSM character) and barked; “Everyone! Musical Bumps! Now!! Go Go Go!!”

Job done. No messing.

It was noted how much more attention I was paid and respect shown at this party over all the others thanks to being at school and known as ‘Miss Brewer’ (or variations of… Bower, Brewing, Bousker, Brewerhead etc). Pseudo Power. Awesome, lol.

They had all gone by 4pm and then it was mine and D’s turn to have a go on the bouncy castle until it was collected at 6:45. How the kids go on those things all day is beyond me. I was knackered after about 5 minutes!
The chocolate fountain wasn’t the complete bitch to clean out that I was warned it would be but as I pointed out to SB who lent it to me, she is child-free therefore unused to scrubbing sticky and gooey substances from small and confined spaces. Moon-sand from rattan chairs. Playdough from shagpile rugs, Poo from just about everything, soggy branflakes from inner ears etc. Slightly warm chocolate from a 20cm long Archimedes screw device was a doddle, even for someone with my limited washing up skill.

R loved her DS and also the Mario Cart game for the Wii which has proved a most popular gift the whole family can enjoy. In fact on Monday (mine and the Bman’s 7 year anniversary) we spent about 2 hours on it after enjoying the lovely meal Bman cooked for us after the childerbeast had gone to bed. I was in need of the relaxation after being pulled from my usual Y3 Intervention group and put with Y6 and asked to take half a class at a time on the field to do Athletics! (wish I had seen a snapshot of my face when I was told about that one) LOL. I survived (only just) but the annoying tangled up & knotted tape measure, sadly, did not make it! And what’s the deal with the lamo H&S gone soft, foam half-javelins? Sponge javelins? Foam rounders bats? non- bouncy, bouncy balls? In my day we had the shot-put and the discus and proper lethal looking javelins. Some of these kids could do with a good whack round the heid with a discus to knock some common sense into them let me tell you (but I’m probably not supposed to say that kind of thing).

Of course on Tuesday it was ‘Take That Tuesday’.

In school singing assembly I was treated to a rendition of ‘Rule the World’ (which admittedly, I did not recognise when I saw the words come up on the Smartboard in the hall) but soon realized I knew when the chorus kicked in. I got a lump in my throat and knew that if it was sung at the gig later that night I would likely cry at the memory of 200 angelic little faces having a fair go at doing it justice.

My Mancunian journey started well with getting out of school earlier than anticipated but soon deteriorated when we got stuck at a broken signal between Halifax and Sowerby Bridge for almost an hour and all ideas of me arriving in Manchester in time for a leisurely luncheon and a float round Harvey Nicks & Selfridges before getting to my sisters for 4pm were soon shot to bits. 2½ hours it took me to get there. When we finally got moving again we were then informed that the train would terminate at Rochdale so we had to get on another train. Grrr! On the plus side I did get a fair bit of my college work done so it wasn’t a complete disaster and I still got to my sister’s for 5pm after cramming myself on a packed tram full of over-made up ladies of a certain age (like myself) who all piled off at Old Trafford heading straight to the gig as the gates opened at 4pm. Me & J couldn’t be bothered going that early though so floated on down there after tea and a couple of wines at 7:30. We caught the end of The Script and had just left our spot to get a cheeky Gaymers when TT came on 15 minutes early right in the middle of the arena where we had just been stood. Typical! Of course we couldn’t fight our way back to where we had been, despite a valiant effort, it was just too much of a crush, so we retreated and opted for personal space over proximity. Never really been a fan of TT but was surprised how many tracks I knew but my sis and I were pretty crap at knowing what song was what until the chorus actually kicked in, doubtless depriving a true fan of a ticket. I thoroughly enjoyed it though and loved it that an old raving buddy who was also somewhere at the gig who I have not seen for 15 years, rang me and text me during Greatest Day to joke about how lame we would have thought going to a TT gig would be, back in the days of those pharmaceutical nights in the early 90’s.

Just to ensure that it was The Greatest Day, the boys finished with an encore of ‘Rule the World’ which had me squealing like a child; “This is the one, this is the one, this is the one the kids sang this morning” whilst bouncing up and down like a loon. I videoed it on my mobile and did shed a little tear as I was overcome with an Emo hands in the air moment with my sis and 50,000 other hand waving nutcases. Good times.

Had to get up at 5am the next day though to get back to Sadford for school at 9am. It was worth it though.

Am feeling shocking now though. My voice went yesterday which I am not sure is due to Gary Barlowitis or from getting cross at Y1 on Wednesday who played up particularly badly because their usual teacher was away. Regardless of cause, I now sound like Tom Waits, which might be sexy or husky if I didn’t look such a moose.

Probably Swine Flu, and if that doesn’t kill me then the laughter from continuing to look at the PTPS Staff photo which I was given a copy of yesterday surely will. SH’s spacky feet and my uggamug & Hulk Hogan arms! It was pointed out by one of my esteemed colleagues that; “You look like you’ve been in the pub Miss B” I don’t think I look particularly drunk, although I am smiling, which lets face it, is a usually indicator as it’s not my normal countenance to be cheerful.

Say Cheese! Xx

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