Party Times & Crimes


Name that Tune: ‘”I’m gonna show you tonight… I’m alright. I’m just fine & you’re a tool” – So What, Pink

Movie Quote of the Day: ‘Can we have one night where there ain’t no fightin’ & nobody gets shot? – Boyz in the Hood

I do like Sundays. There always seems to be more hours in a Sunday than any other day of the week don’t you think?

Today was a lovely spring day compared to the wild winds of yesterday when I was almost blown off my feet whilst tickling about in the garden, & last night when it sounded like being in the eye of the storm as the winds blew every which way but loose round the house. (& I don’t just mean Bman & I letting rip as our supper digested).

R had an invite to a party today at Geronimos on Halifax Road so off we set for the 11am kick-off & hit an entire road closure at Odsal with diversions which appeared to be sending us into Bradford City Centre & not anywhere near where we actually needed to be. The street map in the glovebox was for Leeds & only spread as far as Tyersal so we had to wing it. Luckily we got back on track due to Bman knowing a back-double from the fact that he once got lost on the way to The Shay in Halifax to see Scarborough play once (when they still had a team!). We arrived pretty much on time only to be greeted by the sight of blue & white police tape across the entrance to the place we need to go and paper suit clad Police SOCO all over the place!

I spotted the party girl’s mum and a few other familiar faces from school hanging around the taped off area so I jumped out to see what the crack was while Bman kept the kids in the car just in case anything grim was still in evidence. Turned out that there had been a shooting close to the playzone at a taxi rank or something!
The Babylon were amenable enough, but of course couldn’t let us in till they had done their stuff. Fortunately, despite looking like the set of CSI, whoever the unfortunate soul was who had copped a bullet had long since been removed from the scene. So there we were, bright sunny Sunday, hanging about with a gaggle of party dress wearing 5 & 6 year olds & trying to decide what to do instead so as not to disappoint the birthday girl & her pals.

Old Bill then tells us if we don’t mind waiting for half an hour or so we will be able to go in so, as it was a pleasant day we did just that. We should have popped into the nearby Tescos for some snack items and just had a party outside on the verge. The Fire Brigade stopped by at one point so there was further uniforms to ogle for the ladies. Good Times.

The childerbeast were happy enough running up & down the concrete cobbled slope & then between them they invented a game with some old dog-ends & Stella bottle tops that they found in the gutter… Who needs softplay zones when there’s perfectly good (free) street litter & crime scenes to be explored.

You think I am making this up but I can assure you it’s the honest truth, I even have one of the bottle tops in my handbag, presented to me with great affection, as a love token from my youngest… I shall treasure it always. One of the boys even pocketed some of the Police tape as a trophy. Crenshaw? Nope, Buttershaw! ‘Rita Sue & Bob Too’ territory.
Remind me again how the frig I ended up living in Bradford and not in the glorious Cheshire countryside or a sprawling converted barn in rural Hertfordshire or similar, with children who think random acts of violence & crime only happen in the movies or on ‘The Bill’? I know it’s hardly the Chatsworth Estate round here but Jesus! Only the other night there was a hooley van tearing down the bottom of out road in the wee small hours and on a week night no less! I tell you what, that teenage burglar who was stabbed after trying to break into a house at the weekend? This is what you get if you try and rob someones’ house. Rough Justice I’m afraid pal. I’m from the Tony Martin school of property protection myself & woe betide the jackass who ever tried to get into my house without an invitation. I find you in my house in the middle of the night & I am going to use reasonable force if necessary with whatever comes to hand (curling tong perhaps? Or a pint glass half-full of 3 day old water from my bedside table?). Although to be fair if they went in the kids room first on an untidy night they would be incapacitated with a deadly puppy-in-my-pocket to the left instep & floored within seconds. I should know, the little lethal buggers have caught me out many a time. ;-D

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