Gripes & Grumbles


Name that Tune: ‘”Disasters all around. World despaired. Your only concern – Will it fuck up my hair” – Stupid Girls, Pink

Movie Quote of the Day: ‘Speak properly my dear. I cannot abide loose vowels” – Nanny McPhee

Is an increase in nano-technology and time-saving gadgetry turning us all into a planet full of morons? It seems as though the smaller our mobile phones are, & the ease with which we can access cheap booze & drugs & the faster our Internet speed becomes, that our brains are shrinking and we are becoming……
s l o w e r.

(I of course refer to internet speed in general and not my own actual home PC internet speed which limps along at a snail’s pace, making it easier for you to not only run a bath whilst you wait for something to upload or download but actually take a bath then dry your hair while you wait… ) AOL = Arthritic Old Lady!
There have always been dullards and dolts of course but sometimes I look around as I do my shopping or watch the news or read the papers and think; “Crikey! I’m surrounded by eejits”. Am I turning into Victor Meldrew or Mary Whitehouse or does anyone agree with me?
I’m fed up with seeing kids in cars without seatbelts while mum does 65mph in a residential area whilst yabbering away on her mobile. I’ve had enough of Parent’s swearing at their kids in the playground or thinking it’s hilarious that the school got broken into again.
Attention Deficit Disorder? Whoever heard of that when I was a kid? No-one had it because there wasn’t as much processed food around to twist our unformed braincells into a mush of E numbers and additives & render us incapable of keeping still.
I caved this week & bought some cheese strings for R’s lunchbox after she kept asking for some. I once swore that Cheese Strings and Sunny D would never cross the threshold of my house but I think that compared to some of the shite that gets put in the kids’ lunchboxes that a processed cheese product was the lesser of many possible evils.

Casual disregard for common courtesy, politeness and the power of ‘Txt Spk’ is making us all regress intellectually. The PC Police make it virtually impossible to do or say anything which may offend anyone of even the remotest hint of darker skin-tone or religious bent. E.g. A headteacher recently resigning due to a furore over her cancellation of separate religious assemblies in her school. If you go to a mixed faith school then you should have a mixed faith assembly – simple as. I support her whole heartedly!
Or issues arising in schools over whether the children are allowed to be read the story of the 3 little Pigs in case it offends the Muslims. Then there’s ‘Baa Baa Rainbow sheep’ – Dear me! Whatever next?
“Jack & Jack went up the hill to have a same sex marriage, Jack fell down then put in a claim & sued the local council
We can no longer use egg boxes to do creative crafts in school in case of a risk of salmonella – Children have been making things from egg boxes for 30+ years and how many cases of any of them contracting salmonella have their been?
For flips sake!!
Child Protection issues! We can’t give our own child, who is giving us continuous attitude, a smack across the backside without being arrested on our own doorsteps, yet somewhere else a 2 year old can go for weeks with fag burns on their face and 46 different broken bones & consequently starves to death in their own faeces and no-one seems to have had a clue what was going on!
Here come the Stupids!
Case in point close to home:- Last week, we were discussing at school why it is that it’s always the same children who arrive late, without homework or book bags and I mentioned one child in particular who only lives 2 roads away from school. Apparently the Mother apologised for the child not being in school the day before citing her excuse as; “my hair straighteners broke so I couldn’t leave the house until I sent my friend out to buy some for me”.
At what point does anyone of average intellect think this is an acceptable excuse for not taking your child to school? Even if I were so vain as to not be able to leave the house without a bit of GHD-ing, I would at least pretend the child had been ill or even that we had all overslept–Not even enough intelligence for shame.
I thought my parenting skills lacked a certain finesse but I at least dragged my swollen Brie-Boy heid to school when I had my dental issues last month. I didn’t want to go out but I wouldn’t keep my kids out of school for something as lame as having a bad hair day (Blimey I’d never go out at all if that was the case with my unkempt barnet)
Can we not set up some kind of Guantanamo style Detention Compound for the socially inept, the intellectually deficient and the downright stupid? We could call it the “Karen Matthews Centre for Dim-Wits” and design it to look like the underneath of a giant divan bed where they can all wander freely within drinking cans of Skol in their slippers and Kappa popper-side trackydaks and watching Jeremy Kyle.
This topic of discussion is making me cross now and I am beginning to ramble so I am going to sign off & go & exert my aggression on this subject into a session on the LTT. Grrrrrrrrr.

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