Assessments & Extractions


Name that Tune: ‘”You’ve got a face fit for radio“ Face fit for Radio – Little Man Tate

Movie Quote of the Day: ‘I am not an elephant! I am not an animal! I am a human being’ – The Elephant Man

Where to begin?

Let’s start in date order…

Had my final observation with my Assessor and her Assessor who was assessing her assessing me (are you still following?) on Friday morning. It was a free-play observation where I explained to the class how to construct a paper mobile from triangles and decorate it with circles and ovals. It went well enough despite my only knowing what I was meant to be doing about 10 minutes before the Assessor arrived, also having one of the more disruptive children in the first group and being somewhat distracted by a boy in a different group, sat behind us doing collages, deciding to go all Edward Scissorhands on us and give himself a haircut!

Good feedback was given by the Assessor and then when the class went into Assembly it was time for the Q&A session on Health & Safety – a lot of which had already been done of the first walkround observation when I first started. So despite my mind going blank on occasion I have been signed off on almost all my units bar some which due to a admin error I did not have the tasks for in my profile. I just need to complete them and mail them off to the college and I will be signed off! Next steps to get funding in place through school to go on to the actual Teaching Assistant qualification to enable me to work higher up the school. Good Stuff!

A has been behaving much better the last week, which is great news. She kept her promise to stay “off the cloud” and be polite and well mannered at T’s and I fulfilled my promise of a treat and we went to see ‘Bolt’ at the movies on Saturday afternoon. Thoroughly enjoyed it and that hamster in the ball was most entertaining.

Saturday evening I started with a toothache so out came the clove oil gel and the elephant strength pain relief tablets. I spent a very drooly night of fitfull sleep and when I did wake up I knew something wasn’t right when I could barely lift my head up. I resembled something from a travelling freakshow – the lovechild of Tori Spelling & Desperate Dan, a Tim Burton creation – Brie Boy or Melon Head from his ‘Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy’ book, that ginger kid from the film ‘Mask’ – do I need to paint anymore of a swollen jawed picture? Needless to say I remained in bed all day with the curtains drawn and dark cloths over the mirrors and every now and then Bman came in with a cup of tea and more painkillers and the odd coach party or two he had charge £1.50 to come and see the ‘bedridden living beachball headed woman’.

Fortunately we had dental check-up appointments already booked for Monday afternoon but with Bman being on early shifts I had to get up and do the school run on Monday. It had started snowing again on Sunday night during Larkrise so I had hopes of a closure again but no such luck. I had to venture out, face embalmed in scarves and a hat looking like Fonejacker; “Hello this is your bonafide bank if you could just give me your bank details and sort-code please thankyou”. I got a few odd glances from parents who thought I must have joined some extreme political activists group or something & once the childerbeast were delivered to their classrooms I lurched back home and got back into bed again until it was time to collect A.

4pm came and off to the dentists we went – luckily with Bman as our cab driver by then so I didn’t have to face public transport with my giant hied! The childerbeast had their teeth checked then Bman took them off into Farsley Town Street to buy a sledge and to protect them from having to witness their mother clinging to the arms of the dentists chair in fear. “Do whatever is quickest and cheapest” I mumbled through wads of padding in my best Marlon Brando and 15 minutes later after 3 giant injections into my face the offending molar was out and being brandished before my eyes like a trophy. “Would you like to take it home for the tooth fairy?” I was asked. “I’ll give it a miss” I drooled. I doubt very much that she accepts nackered teeth that are more amalgam than enamel anyway – I wouldn’t have got more than 10p for it. I now have that strange sensation I’ve not had since I was about 7 of being able to stick my tongue in the gap between 2 of my teeth. I think I might need to get one made to replace it – diamond perhaps for that gangsta rapper blingadingding look?

This morning my face has subsided a bit but is still a bit swollen, I now just look a bit like that bird, Tracy whatsehername, from “Everything but the Girl”. Hopefully it will have died down by tomorrow otherwise I am not going to work and having the piss taken out of me all day in the office.

Time for my next dose of antibiotics and painkillers anyway (which I feel are not nearly strong enough) – can you still get Ketamine these days or is that a bit 90’s?



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