News & Blues


Name that Tune: “It’s our time now. Time for you and me” – Last Rhythm

Movie Quote of the Day: “Ever wish you could freeze a moment in your day & look at it & say ‘this is not my life’?” – Mrs Doubtfire

So what’s new ten days into 2009?

I saw Iggy Pop advertising insurance on the TV, not quite in his trademark cellophane trousers but he sure as shit wasn’t in a suit & you can bet your ass he was topless and wiry. What’s next on the gravy train of sell out marketing? Bob Dylan advertising

What else? Gaza is going to the dogs again, high street chains are closing down on a daily basis, no-one can get a mortgage unless they’ve got £100,000 deposit and it’s so cold that the harbour froze over at Padstow – we’ll be ice skating down the Thames before you know it.
Young Tories are getting sacked for going to fancy dress parties as Madeleine McCann and Baby P – poor taste even for someone with my warped sense of humour.
Some woman lighting her husband’s penis on fire in the night when she saw him ‘hug’ another woman and subsequently being done for murder as he has since died form his injuries! Another loon taking irrational jealously to an extreme even I have never encountered before, and trust me I have come across some irrational nutcases in my time. Personally even if any man of mine was fooling around on the side I couldn’t be bothered with the effort of foolhardy revenge or recriminations. Probably because I am too laisez faire (and downright lazy.)
I was spotted in Morridogs on Tuesday by a couple of workmates who since told me that they; “were going to say hello but you just looked like a Zombie staring at tins of soup so we let you be”. LOL I can picture it. An un-glamorous vision of make up free, hair akimbo, clad in slackydaks, hiking boots & all-weather anorak in a state of over-choice anxiety amongst the aisles of tins in Morries in a world of my own – away somewhere on Planet Kit, blending in seamlessly with the other drones, non-entities & working class masses on a mission for BOGOF Birds Eye & Supermarket Back to Basics baked beans. The complete opposite end of the spectrum from Posh bloody Spice and her £80,000 diamond encrusted silver Tote bag – well I bet she hasn’t got a jute bag-for-life from the gift shop at Stonehenge! That, my friend, is Cool!
More peeps have been laid off or given notice or sidelined to different jobs at work this week. A sign of the slowing times and surely the inevitable death knell for me and my 2 days a week fiddling about with purchase orders & invoices. I shall cling on with fingernail grip until the day I rock up and my electronic key no longer works and they’ve passed all my paperwork duties back to Kev to do on his own like he did before I started last May. I don’t know what I will do if that does happen but until that day I shall do the sensible thing and stick my head in the sand and my fingers in my ears going “La La La La La”.
I am full of cold and also developing an unhealthy addiction to Wii Carnival Golf. I even dreamt about it last night, that I had opened secret zones no one else knew about. The music keeps going around and around in my head & I wonder if my game could be improved if I ditched the comedy Ice Cream Sundae slippers and gnome costume that my on screen character is currently wearing. I think these bizarre trains of thought may be a result of my cold, dosage of painkiller and decision to quit drinking during the week. I’ll keep you posted on my progress.
Next Friday is my 3rd assessment at school I have The Fear about my outdoor physical activity observation. I have planned a road safety theme with some children on bikes on a roadway and others as pedestrians attempting to cross. I have no free time to do a dry run before my assessor watches me in action & although I draw the line at dressing as Tufty, I may need to remember my whistle in case I need to break up a riot if they start squabbling over the bikes. What if they don’t listen to me and it descends into chaos?
My assessor also needs to take away my profile to show the external verifier so I need to get that all up to scratch before Friday and photocopy all the bits I will need while it’s at college with the verifier – I may not get it back for 6 weeks!
I might go the quacks and get some happy pills to take the edge off. I had a complete breakdown infront of the childerbeast on Thursday night due to feeling overtired, pre-menstrual, flu-ish & stressed with the little monkeys backchatting me and showing Olympic standard defiance. I shouted fruitlessly awhile, screamed into a pillow then sat & wept silently into my hands until they realized I was serious and wrapped one of their ‘baa baas’ round my shoulders and promised “to be good as long as I didn’t call the Police”, which made me weep quietly even more. It’s time, I think, after 5½ years of parenting to admit I need a little chemical help.
Right, it’s Saturday night, Bman is rustling up a Thai curry and the childerbeast need tidying away in bed so…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: