Tricks & Treats


Name that Tune: “‘Die, die we all pass away, but don’t wear a frown cuz it’s really okay, & you might try ‘n’ hide, & you might try ‘n’ pray, but we all end up the remains of the day”– Remains of the Day – Corpse Bride O.S.T

Movie Quote of the Day: “I myself am…..strange and unusual” – Beetlejuice

Another Halloween been and gone, Bonfire Night on Wednesday and less than 7 weeks to Christmas! Where is my life going?

Hotfooted it down to Big Asda En Famille on Friday morning for provisions for the night’s festivities in the deluded belief that it couldn’t possibly be that busy. Half-term on Halloween Friday? You’d have thought it was Christmas Eve with a 4 minute warning and imminent nuclear winter!! Me and A were quite literally bowled into a shelf of special offer Cab Savs without so much as an excuse me, kiss my arse, nor buggery and Bman got rammed into the Mexican fajita kit shelf by a woman on a mission and no manners, so we grabbed what we needed and got out of there as fast as we could, which wasn’t very fast as the queues at the checkouts were ridiculous. Hectic Times!

So apart from being almost 20 years older and 3 stone heavier I thought I did a fair impression of Claire Bennett on Friday night. Note to self though: you get what you pay for with fake blood – 60p from Wilkiesforget about it. After bloodying up my shirt the night before for a more authentic dry blood-stained look I saw that when dried it just looked like red paint, so remembering something I once heard about Hitchcock using chocolate sauce or corn syrup or something for the shower scene in “Psycho” I made with the chocolate ice cream topping and Voila! Looking good & smelling chocolately and now a dozen traumatized under 5’s from the neighbourhood are still having nightmares about seeing Mrs Brewer with her head sliced open and her husband dressed like Zombie arrow thru-head voodoo wierdy-man-freak when they knocked on her door to Trick or Treat. Bman actually went out trick or treating with us dressed in his Greedo mask but couldn’t see a damn thing, the childerbeast were holding his hand but kept abandoning him in the street to run up driveways so I had to make sure he didn’t wander into the road or into lampposts – haha. It was pretty parky out Friday night to be dressed in a makeshift gym skirt so we didn’t hang about but the childerbeast got a good haul, in fact they went out later on with the Dads and the other kids when our little soiree had started so we are fully stocked up now on miniature Wham bars, funsize things and chocolate eyeballs, they even got cash from some people (the ones who were too late presumably for the scramble for BOGOF offers on multipacks of funsize bars at Asda & Morridogs).

Everyone put a great deal of effort into their costumes and we had a good laugh as usual with no breakages, fallings-out or melodramas, the kids even all went to sleep together in our bed later on so we could get on with the serious stuff of inventing cocktails & Monster Mashing round the kitchen.

So to all those straightlacers who condem Halloween and trick or treating as glorified begging and an American invasion – Get Stuffed! It’s not American, they have just been into it a lot more than we have for a lot longer, it’s us British who have just been too puritanical and frankly, dull, to use it as an excuse to party and celebrate. It’s a pagan festival just like all the other festivals that Christianity poached and made their own, they just decided not to take it on because they though it was to do with devil worship which is a load of claptrap so boo hiss and bah! humbug to you. I checked out photos on Facebook of some of our other friend’s parties and the costumes are all amazing. I am already thinking of what to dress as next year – Corpse Bride perhaps?

Check out the pictures from Friday at the following link: –

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