In the red / better off dead


Name that Tune: ‘I scratch a living, it aint easy, you know it’s a drag, I’m always paying, never making’ – Cash Machine, Hard Fi

Movie Quote of the Day: ‘It looks like Christmas will have to be cancelled this year’ – The Nightmare Before Christmas
Today I have hosted a birthday party for Sandy – unfortunately not Mr Greetham of the infamous cocktails and 3 day benders but Sandy the dog – a toy dog belonging to A. He had a cake and everything, we did the Hokey Cokey and ate fish fingers (his favourite apparently) and wedges and lemon curd tarts. He had more guests come along than usually turn up at any party I’ve ever thrown. This is to what I have been reduced to on a Saturday… rave on! As he slept off his cake and disco-dancing over-exertions I finally plucked up the courage to work out the family accounts now that we have the correct figures for T’s childminding services now she has gone offical on top of our usual monthly outlay versus incoming monies.
Put it this way, the stuffed toy party may well have been my last – I should have dressed in black, called it a Wake, shut all the windows and switched on the gas awhile before I lit the single candle on his cake! The situation as it stands will leave us with the princely sum of £3.26 left over per month with which we could get one of those sacks of dried fusilli and ration ourselves to a handful a day (without cheese or sauce). This trip to London next weekend will be last venture from the house for a while that involves putting my fingers in my wallet that’s for sure. Merry Christmas everybody. I hope you like pencil holders made from loo roll inner tubes because hey guess what Santa is bringing everyone this year? Credit crunch? Our credit is flatter than a McQueen sister in a blown up church!*
*Non ‘Hollyoaks’ watchers may have to do some reserach on this one

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