Elocution & Curiosity


Name that Tune: ‘When my face is chamois-creased, If you think I’ll wink, I did. Laugh politely at repeats, Yeah, kiss me when my lips are thin’ – One Day Like This, Elbow.

Movie Quote of the Day: ‘The majesty and grandeur of the English language, it’s the greatest possession we have.’ – My Fair Lady

It came up in conversation this week during a regional vernacular discussion of baps V barmcake V teacake V batch V Breadbun conversation, at work that; “You talk quite posh compared to everyone else Kit”. For this compliment I was prepared to let teacake slide (although to me a teacake has currants in it.)
I remembered all the times in my formative years when my Pops threatened me with elocution lessons and spouted “How Now Brown Cow” & “The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain” at me and was amused that I am now doing exactly the same thing with A who has a bent of late to say things like; “I’m off t’toilet” rather than my preferred ‘I’m going to the loo”. We can’t afford to move anywhere more refined and are unlikely to be ever able to do so, therefore I must persevere with my corrections and hope that eventually it rubs off, although to be fair, generally both girls are pretty well spoken, but of course they will slip into the odd local dialect sometimes – we all do it.

It was parents evening last night and I had thought that if I was going to hear anything to make me squirm in my miniature chair infront of Teacher it would be about A, but I came away happy that both were credits to their class and both Teachers wished they had more pupils like them…so that was nice!

School was great again today and I am very much looking forward to next week’s Harvest Assembly, I only wish the Bman wasn’t on an early shift so he could have come along. This year I’ll get to be with the staff and help take the class out in the afternoon to deliver the harvest booty to the olds of the estate. This year’s theme is ‘Traditional Harvest’ and we have been asked to provide accordingly – perhaps a nod to mine and B’s contribution last year of several packs of short-dated straight to wok noodles and rice cakes & some Wasabi soup which no doubt completed baffled some elderly local resident who has probably still got them in their store cupboard for last ditch emergencies in a nuclear winter situation.

Also this week we have mostly been searching for long-lost randoms on Facebook.

What is the fascination of trying to track down old primary & high school and college friends, Ex’s, or people we once upon a time carried torches for? Cyber nosiness and morbid curiosity at whether they married, how they look now, did they eventually ‘Come Out’ as we always knew they were gay etc etc. The general consensus is that they fall into 3 categories: –
(1) married with 2.4 children
(2) Yes they did come out of the closet and are now gay and proud
(3) happily single without children but with high flying career which if it hasn’t taken them abroad permanently almost certainly takes them to parts of the world that most of us could only dream about, as with our 2.4 kids a 4 night off-peak break at Butlins is about as cosmo as it gets these days.
We console ourselves by thinking how lonely they must be without spouse or offspring but really we secretly envy them and their many stamped passports and no ties lifestyle. We marvel at how well everyone has aged whilst secretly hoping that they have done some kind of photoshop magic to the best picture they could find knowing that of their 200+ online friends they will only actually ever still physically see around a dozen of them on a regular basis so the rest will be none the wiser that most days they all look like Swampy the runway protestor on acid!
Surely there is good reason why we don’t know where these people live anymore or what they do for a living, why we never exchange Christmas cards or arrange annual drinks in neutral watering holes. I think some people are your friend for the time in your life when they suit you best and you suit them best. Friends will come and go dependent of your job or where you live and the kind of person you and they are at that time. Some will remain with you even if you don’t live close by anymore regardless of what job you do or your lifestyle choice. You may only see them sporadically or touch base via email or social networking sites but you all know that should the call come for you, or them, to put the breaks on and make a bit of effort by simply picking up the phone for a real conversation if it’s called for, or making the journey to visit then so be it. You know they will come through for you as you would do for them. These ones are the ones who get away with the sporadic correspondence because you know that at the crunch they will be at your side. These ones are worth their weight in gold and I’m a glad that I could name at least 5.

Bman is in Boro this weekend so I am home alone with the childerbeast but it’s okay, I have some gin.

Chin chin Xx

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